Don’t Make the Mistake of Only Being Social Online

We wake up in the morning and check our Facebook news feeds, our emails, any new tweets we may have missed overnight, our LinkedIn messages, our Google+ circles and anything else we’ve connected ourselves to in the ever growing online world. Many of us don’t even get out of bed until we’ve done all of this on our phones. It’s become a part of our daily routine, sometimes even before we whisper “Good morning” to our spouse or feed the starving pet or brush our teeth or taste our first sip of coffee.

The explosion of social media combined with the mobile revolution has given us the ability to be and stay connected anytime and anywhere. We have unlocked innovative ways to discover and grow personal and professional relationships via the internet, and millions of people all over the world have not only embraced but voraciously devoured this new lifestyle and it’s accommodating online tools.

But to what extent?

I take my kids to a restaurant and once the waitress has taken our orders we are all checking our phones, until I catch myself and remember our “no phones at the dinner table” rule.

I drive somewhere with my wife and in between discussions she is updating her statuses and responding to others. Sometimes I’m asking her to read a message I’ve received to me while I drive. I almost always see someone in a car beside me texting while they drive, too.

I make a run to the grocery store but delay the acquisition of a shopping cart until I have checked in on Foursquare.

If you really stop and think about it, it’s enough to make a person tweet “WTF?!?”

I am probably the guiltiest of all offenders, because I am a social introvert. I do not enjoy being in a party or a meeting or something of that nature with a bunch of people I don’t know well. I will never be that guy that ‘works the room’ from the moment I walk in the door. Yet in the online world, I can thrive. I can communicate in a calculated manner, thinking about or deleting or editing what I say before I say it. I can be funny, witty, and engaging. And I can do it in the safety of my own home, in my pajamas if I choose, without any of the worries or insecurities that can be associated with a face-to-face conversation.

It’s a perceived safety and freedom that the entire online world has become somewhat of a slave to.

I’m not saying it’s all bad. In fact, the benefits of social media for my business have been countless and somewhat phenomenal. I have met many people I would have otherwise never met. I have learned things I would have otherwise probably have never learned. I have discovered and read and enjoyed people, places and things that I know I would have otherwise never encountered.

In fact, it would be very, very tempting for me to refrain from ever walking out the door and meeting new people or growing relationships face to face.

But I cherish the conversations I have with my kids over dinner. I treasure the moments my wife and I get to be alone. I value the true, deep friendships I have with people I have met in my life offline.

How terrible would it be to lose those things?

I don’t know if that would ever really happen – a complete loss of face-to-face communication – but I do know that at least some of those moments have vanished. They are no longer a part of our culture. A culture that absolutely must stay connected. At all times. At all costs.

So, while I know I can’t eliminate the newfound adoration of nonstop connection and online social communities, I have to write this to at least remind myself (and anyone else listening) of what is most important: real life, true and physical relationships with people we love. My wife. My kids. My friends who I actually hang out with in their homes or ours. These are the relationships and social activities that should never be replaced by my online activities. And I think a good step to take in the pursuit of this is to keep them from being interrupted by the online world.

Can we put the phone down when we’re with our friends and family? Can we bear to spend an hour or an evening or a meal without responding to that text or email or Facebook message or tweet?

It may be difficult at first, but I think that, if we give it a shot, we may see the priceless value of our offline relationships in a new light. I want to give it a try, at least. How about you?